Director: Michael Bay
Writer: Ehren Kruger
Stars: Mark Wahlberg, Nicola Peltz, Jack Reynor, Kelsey Grammer, Titus Welliver, Stanley Tucci
I came at this movie somewhat ignorant of the premise since I hadn’t seen any of the ones that came before it. Never wanted to. But when Mark Wahlberg hopped onboard, I caved.
With a 2:45 running time, I was bored and annoyed. It’s just a big “cartoon” with lame character robots sporting lame accents: British jerk, American lowlife, American redneck, Japanese Ninja. I’m not sure why. It took me almost to the end of the film to figure out that “Autobots” were so named because they could turn into automobiles not because they were self-serving critters. They probably should have been called V-Bots (for vehicle), though, since they also into trucks. “Truck and Auto Bots”? Too long. Maybe I’m wrong about the whole thing. Maybe they’re called “Autobots” because they automatically came to the rescue of the humans. I don’t know and I don’t care.
Wahlberg plays Cade Yeager, a “robotics expert” inventor who discovers the missing Optimus Prime autobot that the government has been looking for since the great alien robot battle in Chicago. Optimus was laying low disguised as an old truck . But Yeager figures it out. From that point on it’s a race against the search and destroy government fiends out to kill Optimus and/or deliver him to the master alien robot Galvatron who’s made a sweet deal with a money grubbing corporate type played by Kelsey Grammar.
While the effects in movies like this are always good, he best things by far were Stanley Tucci would could read through the ingredients of a recipe and he’d be funny and amazing and the little captured blue haired dude of a one-legged robot who, along with Tucci, had some of the funniest lines.
Those who play with Hasbro toys will probably enjoy this. People who made a living off this movie and those who love them will enjoy this.
Lotta says: Autobots, leave this universe now! And don’t come back.